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Malevolent aliens put Trump in power
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JWB Offline
Can I get a "Bright not broken?"
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Post: #1
Malevolent aliens put Trump in power
Washington DC- 4/1/2017
The Associated press is reporting that Aliens from Alpha Centari have entered the atmosphere. They have communicated to us that they were behind the 2016 election. "WE were the ones who rigged the election!" Claims Ankbar2, leader of the Galactic Counsel of Alpha Centari. "We want Earth destroyed! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!", he went on to say. "We know it's only a matter of time before Trump gets bored and just nukes the moon to see what would happen. When that happens, humanity will destroy itself, and the whole Earth will be ours for the taking! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
The aliens spoke English; so Amy Adams was not called in to translate.
It's unclear how to stop the aliens conquering Earth. President Donald Trump suggested nuking them with nuclear bombs. His advisers told him that's just want the aliens want, but he did not understand.
It's also unclear just how long humanity has. It's obvious that the aliens used some sort of mind control to make people vote for Trump. It's also unclear how to resolve this issue. It's becoming clearer and clearer that humanity's days are numbered, but that was evident as soon as Trump took office.

"Some prisoners spent more than ten years buried in solitary cells the size of coffins, hearing nothing but clanging bars or footsteps in the corridors. They survived because they could talk to each other by tapping on the wall. In that way, they told of dreams, memories, and fallings in and out of love; they discussed, embraced, and fought; they shared beliefs, beauties, doubts, guilts and those questions that have no answers.
When it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands, the eyes, the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to the others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others."-Eduardo Galeano
04-02-2017 07:32 AM
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d_olson27 Offline
ןןɐqppo uɐ ɟo ʇɐɥʍǝɯos
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Post: #2
RE: Malevolent aliens put Trump in power
When I first saw this thread, I was thinking, "Oh boy. What kind of conspiracy theory is this going to be?" Then I noticed the date. Nice one.

[Image: FSMbkgrd1_th1_zpsd72bf4fc.jpg]
04-02-2017 07:55 AM
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HammerBioLizard
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Post: #3
RE: Malevolent aliens put Trump in power
I had no idea that Rush Limbaugh was an alien. I hope he isn't from my home planet.
04-02-2017 01:11 PM
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Grey Area Offline
 
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Post: #4
RE: Malevolent aliens put Trump in power
I thought the "aliens" in the title was going to refer to Mexicans.

There are no atheists when the toilet water is rising.
04-02-2017 05:46 PM
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